Love connection...

So, I decided to totally out myself here for the sake of a laugh... some of this stuff is just too good to make up, and I figured some of you might get a kick out of my "dating" misfortunes. So a friend and I decided to join match.com at the same time (you know, for moral support). As far as I'm concerned, joining with a friend is the only way to go. Most of it is just entirely to creepy and/or sad to be facing alone. With someone else, you can laugh at the losers and cry about the cute one that doesn't write you back. So anyway... I think I "winked" at this guy, because he seemed decent enough. And with match.com, they let you be a girl and force the guy to make the first move if you don't want to. You're out of your mind if you don't think I'm gonna capitalize on that. So I wink. And he emails back (sidenote, it actually tells the guys to email the girl back... whereas with girls, the option to email is there, but it doesn't tell you "women prefer emails; email her". hilarious)... here's his OPENING EMAIL:

"I'm Ryan from the big town of Merced! You have some nice photos, but I'am curious why your hair is red when you sAY IT IS DARK BLOND. I've tryed this online dating thing before and and found there are some scam artist out there trying to take peoples money. They use the same type of profile but add diferent pictures and forget to change the eye color, hair color evan race at times! AS for me, I'am real! NO scam just a guy looking for love. What is your ph.d going to be? HOw much longer before you achieve it? Hope to hear from you, -RYAN"

Anybody want to place a bet on why this guy has a hard time pickin up chicks? I'm sure he's a regular cassanova. Pssshhh.. I'm not going to even get into the fact that he has the grammar skills of a ten year old, but seriously, you're calling me out on my hair color? Implying that I'm a scam artist? Who does that? This is just irritating because its a completely stupid thing to call someone out on... especially when my hair color tends to change with the season. And no matter what, I've NEVER been a red head. But yeah, my whole goal in life is to steal this dude's money. What the heck. 

So are you curious about my response? I couldn't help myself... 

"Yep, you're completely right... I am really a 42 year old, 300 pound, red headed scam artist out to steal your money. That was one heck of an opening email... hard to believe you're still single! Best of luck in your search..."

Haha. I'm gonna be single FOREVER.