boredom.

I always thought that I would long for the day when I didn't have to work... when I didn't have to rush around like a crazy person. And now that I have it, I HATE it! Although work isn't exactly the most fun thing imaginable, it plays an important part in our lives. It gives us a purpose, something to do, and perhaps most importantly, money. I have worked since I was 16... and the majority of my jobs have been doing things that I hate. When I was young, I worked at Wild Water Adventures (a water park) as a caterer. A CATERER. Can you imagine? It was like 110 outside, we'd be lugging tables and hot food around for 6 non-stop hours. Serve hotdogs and barbecue pork to hundreds of disgusting people, and then take it all apart and haul it half a mile back to the kitchen. Ugh! It was awful! Still the worst job I think I've ever had. But I worked. Because I had to. Then I did the whole two job thing throughout undergrad, working at a bank and an ice cream shop or old navy and going to school with at least 15 units. Was it hard? I guess. I didn't really know any different. I didn't have free time, but I didn't really know that was an option. Then, at Tech, my weeks consisted of class (12 units), seeing clients, teaching, supervision, meetings, working in the clinic office, and writing papers in my free time. Weeks weren't 40 hours; they were 60-70 for the first two years.

And now, you ask? Hmm... here's a typical day:
-sleep in (why not, its not like I have somewhere to be!)
-check facebook.
-think about where i want to go work for the day (usually starbucks or panera)
-get ready
-go read articles until i can't focus anymore (by now its about 4pm)
-come home, walk Bailey (2 miles)
-maybe a little wii yoga or pilates
-dinner with the rents (ohhhhhhh i need to get out of this house)
-read another article or two if i can handle it
-more facebook while i check careerbuilder.com for jobs (there aren't any)
-apply for any and all jobs i think i could possibly do
-tv
-bed.

While its nice to actually be getting some dissertation time in, there's only so much I can do everyday... burnout happens quickly. I am making progress though, which is encouraging. But the whole job thing is just really bumming me out. I haven't ever not worked! Its gross. I don't like it. I feel lazy and unproductive. The jobs I've heard back from tell me I'm overqualified. Grrrrrrrrrreat. I don't really care. Just let me work. It's gotten so bad that I'm thinking of going back to something like the bank just to make some money. But then I worry that it will take away the time from the diss (because really, am i going to want to come home after being at a shitty job all day and want to write? NO.) So anyway, there's my dilemma. Jobs are so scarce around here I don't even know if I could get on with a bank... but we'll see. I have a masters degree and almost a phd... and I'm about to go be a bank teller. How depressing is that. It reminds me of the Simpsons episode where they go into a bookstore, and Bart takes off. Marge calls after him, asking where he's going... his response is something like "I'm gonna go to the checkout and taunt the PhDs behind the counter!" Marge says "Bart, that's not nice... they're not bad people, they just made terrible life choices!" Maybe we did. Mayyyyyyybe we did.