comfortable mediocrity.

I have come to realize that I am definitely a play it safe person. If it comes down to taking a huge risk that has the potential to really pay off or really crash and burn OR to just stick with the status quo, I'm going to stick with the status quo every time.

Its hard not to get caught up in faulty logic sometimes. It just seems like no matter how good you try to be (to yourself, to others, whatever...) its only a matter of time before you're slapped down fiercely and left to huddle by yourself in a corner. Life is just not fair, and its never going to be fair. People who work their whole lives to do the right thing are not rewarded as often as they should be. There's no guarantee that because you live your life the "right" way that its going to pay off here on Earth. There are a lot of douchebags out there who are just complete assholes all the time, and yet, they never seem to get the proverbial smack down. And then there are people who work their asses off to do the right thing, and they are forced to endure pain beyond their wildest imagination. It's just not fair.

But back to my original point... if the smack down is inevitably coming (which it seems like it kind of has to... somehow) do you invest in your dreams and shoot for the stars if it means that those things will be what is possibly taken from you? Do you go for the moment of greatness and hope that it lasts? Ugh. I just don't know. If I end up single forever, this is why. At the heart of it, I almost think that its better just to live a life of mediocrity and be mostly content almost all of the time if the alternative is to be sublimely happy for a limited amount of time. The higher you go, the longer you have to fall...